Words With Impact: Draw Poetry Techniques Into Fiction Sentences

Workshop: Discover Words That Sing

“A novel is never anything but a philosophy put into images.” Albert Camus

Metaphor Connections in Sentences

Using the right choice of metaphors and similes to partner with verbs can give sentences an extra kick without being obvious. It can sometimes be a silent way to enhance emotions, danger, mystery, and curiosity. They give the readers of sense of satisfaction when the connections fit the circumstances but also can create confusion when the link is even slightly off the intended mark.

Author Ron Koertge offered this example in a writing workshop. Take a sentence and list five or more possible images. Then choose the most effective.

Sentence example:  “In his rage my father would bang on the wall like a ---------.”

            “Hammer, or wrecking ball, or baboon, or caged gorilla.”

Rage—bang is the main concept, so it will make the metaphor more accurate to use hammer. It visually gives the reader the sense of repetition in the anger.

The key here is to follow through the possible thought and “see” it as an image. Watch the sentence unfold as a silent screen. What do you need to come next?

If for instance the wrecking ball is chosen, then there is no next sentence or scene. Everything has been demolished. And the original beginning indicates this is a repetitive behavior.

A caged gorilla doesn’t make sense either, as they would most likely shake their bars but not pound repeatedly. And general images of a baboon are often of pounding his own chest.

When some of our sentences seem too passive we can play with other verbs or word associations to strengthen the image we want to linger. However, like purple prose, it is not for overuse either. But when we want a hint to the story atmosphere, or characterization, these connections can help build a stronger sentence and image.

Action Steps:

1. When you next read a book in your favorite genre pay attention to the images and emotions that the author quietly indicates through individual sentences.

2. Note which ones make sense to you and which make you stop to reread the sentence.

3. Look through your own draft and look for your own connecting images to see if they still fit the atmosphere.

Share: Where you surprised by any you found—either positively or negatively?

Read deep, marcy