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“You enter the extraordinary by way of the ordinary.” ~Frederick Buechner

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Journal Vacation Worksheet


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Creating memories is a priceless gift. Memories will last a lifetime; things only a short-period of time.”                                                                                          Alyice Edrich



Family Journal Vacation Worksheet

  1. Make a list of all the Events you remember that happened. (ex. flat tire)

  1. People
a. Make a list of all the people there: family, friends, and strangers that you noticed for a reason.

b. Next to each name put what was the distinguishing characteristic of that person at that time. (ex. lady in snack shack—wild hair) (brother—told new joke every day).

  1. Describe the Setting: place, weather, smells. Be sure to choose specific words rather than generalize.  For example, just how cold did it get at night: chilly or freezing?

  1. Was there then, or afterwards, an image or repeated phrase that became a code for that vacation? One friend shared that this turned into several favorite reminders for their various adventures.           

  1. What is your specific emotional connection to this vacation that makes it your funniest or most embarrassing or….. ?

6.     Write out a rough vignette draft of that vacation.


Action Steps:

1. After you’ve put all your thoughts together, make a copy for each person with you on that trip and give them each your version.

Share: Did any memory surprise you when you did the worksheet? What made it stand out?


Read deep, marcy


Note: I found the quotes for this family section at www.wiseoldsayings.com. They had a lot more that you might find more personal, especially if you are beginning to prepare a memoir, which we will be examining later in the series.


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Vacations


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Your memories are your jewels!” Julie Butler


Family Vacations

Family vacations have the capacity to turn into books, especially if they extend to family reunions, or special locations visited each year, or combining group holidays that also include friends. Next week I will post a generic worksheet that can be a base line to build on, but for this section reflect on your own personal memories.

First make a specific list of the: best, worst, easiest, hardest, happiest, saddest, longest, shortest, funniest, and unexpected details.

Then choose one specific memory and do a worksheet by writing out it out as a visual photo frame, as if you were standing before a movie screen watching it happen.

Then choose a yearly event and, “Retell this generic memory as if it happened just once. In telling it as a single, one time memory, try to evoke the experience as a single vivid moment in time.”  Make a note of all the highlight features and write it as one incident.  You can choose to write it as a letter, or a short story, or as a vignette, or as if writing a travel article.

For example, for many years I spent the summers with my aunt, a schoolteacher who had summer months off work. My first poetry memoir, Summer Sketches, reflected the memories of those summers by combining several summers into one: some by personalities and some by adventure. The “only” captured my first surprise when five-years-old and found its way into this vignette when I wrote the normal everyday activity as an adult.


                                  Breakfast

                                    Every morning a fresh
                                                pot of porridge bubbled on the stove.
                                    It could be stirred
                                                only
       with a long wooden spoon and
       only
       by my uncle.”

Action Steps:

1. First choose one very familiar detail to write about and then pick an unusual, or one-time only occurrence.

2. Write them up as a combined memory? What feelings do you notice came to the surface?

3. Now rewrite the first familiar version.

Share: What style did you write your memory up as? What specific feature surprised you?


Read deep, marcy

 



Thursday, June 7, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Communications


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Memories shared serve each one differently.” Robert Evans

What kind of communication works best with your individual family members that will enable you to go beyond the surface details: weekly, monthly, or yearly?

Our technical era makes it possible to do instant connections but look at some ways to go a little deeper.

Some possibilities might include an old-fashioned round-robin letter so readers can participate without rushing. Or consider a regular e-mail circular to family only. Try out a designated Facebook group for family only.

Perhaps set up color-coded calendar as to when to touch base with each other with a regular conversation before the activity timeframe becomes too overloaded to share all the details and the communication becomes superficial.

Even a few minutes with a weekly Facetime to share a smile can keep a caring relationship healthy.

For special family events such as birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and other highlight occasions take a few minutes to extend the involvement and pass each person’s reactions around to everyone.

Some communications might include having each family member write up their favorite memory of that specific event. Or each person writes down a blessing, or share a Bible verse, or a promise, or a prayer, or a gift of time. Do a photo scrapbook that is shared with everyone. Or do a memento scrapbook (like an old fashioned quilt).


Action Steps:

1. Choose a system that you haven’t tried before to see if that becomes more efficient than your current mode of communication?

2. Then look for ways to make the system fun so that it is not another required to-do item but something you all look forward to.

3. Think of ways that will include all ages regardless of technical abilities.


Share: What method of communication has worked for your family so far? What method are you going to experiment with?


Read deep, marcy




Thursday, May 31, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Reunions


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Memories are created by what we do not by what we think.” Byron Pulsifer


Family

What family memories mean the most to you? Have you asked other family members what they remember? Family reunions are a natural opportunity to bring up family stories, but not always the best time to go deeper.

Yet it is a good way to capture events that might otherwise go unnoticed. Photographs and videos and art sketches help to capture the immediate conversations, yet usually there is some back-story as well. Family gatherings can be a great source to begin to gather memories that otherwise would be lost.

Look for ways to ask the older generation questions and record them when possible. Or consider trying to do a group memory of a particular incident.

If talking about family history while at the reunion is not appropriate, then set up appointments either in person, or by phone, and do mini interviews. Ask fun questions such as how did you get your name? And how did their name be a positive, or negative, or neutral, experience growing up? Did it get twisted into nicknames?

Or search out the Family “secrets.” Was the person with the reputation really a black sheep or just different from the others? What happens if it’s revealed that another relative was living a lie?

Additional Applications
Consider mentors as well who have contributed to life wisdom, faith walk, or your vocational field and set up questions and interview with them too.


“Memories, important yesterdays, were once today’s. Treasure and notice today.”
                                                                                                                              Gloria Gaither

Action Steps: Here are a few interview tips to get started.

1. Be specific about what you want to discuss before you meet in person.

2. Prepare a list of possible questions and leave the most difficult questions to the end.

3. Be prepared to listen rather than trying to keep your agenda.

4. Focus on one or two aspects.

5. Pay attention to body language and other silent responses.


Share: Did you discover a memory that turned out to be different from the reality?


Read deep, marcy



Thursday, May 24, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Heirlooms


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.” Bob Dylan


Family Heirlooms

Write down what you or other family members pass along through generations, either of value or humorous. Some of our Christmas ornaments seemed a bit odd after a few generations.

Why do some items become so special that there is conflict over who inherits it? Or is something a complete mystery?

One item that my youngest aunt saved for me from my paternal grandmother was a christening gown, made of intricate lace and exquisite needlework. Each child in the family had worn it, and I was the last to inherit it. How she came upon such a rich garment from a very low working-class background was a secret that no one knew the answer to. But it traveled across the ocean with her and was used for the christenings of her next three children born in her new country.

Choose one particular item and catalog it as if a museum piece. Send out letters asking siblings or cousins what stories they remember and then put them all together as a collection.

Action Steps:

1. What heirloom has a secret?

2. Is it dangerous?

3. What damage could it do to present relationships?


Share: What item did you choose?


Read deep, marcy



Thursday, May 17, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family History


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.” Corrie ten Boom


Family Stories

Some family stories are repeated every time relatives get together. Sometimes as an icebreaker, or common ground, or a particular incident that no one wants forgotten. Perhaps to reflect an incident of pride or, unfortunately, to nurture a grudge. And like the telephone whisper game the reality at the beginning may not be what is still being passed down through the generations.

Or to clear perspective. A cousin and I talked recently about one of our relatives. Because she is older than me she knew more details of an incident that I, as a five-year-old at the time, had heard but not fully understood. In turn, I was able to share a later update in my teens, which she had not been aware of. Between the two of us we realized a huge gap had existed for both of us. And the reality gave us both a fresh perspective.


Journal Sources
Some places to look to fill in the gaps or jog your own stories are photo albums, especially those that include anecdotes or vignettes. Look for those both with or without stories, autobiographies and biographical sketches. Look to see if any family members kept a memory book, either as an individual or for the whole family.

Is there a family tree or special notes in a family Bible? Did anyone keep a record of archives? Sometimes even a day-today diary that only lists chores or business can open up a picture of the past no one was aware of or had forgotten.


Past. Think of a specific relative in your past. What do you wish you knew about their particular circumstances or their feelings?

I knew at some point in my life that my paternal grandmother had crossed the Atlantic in 1911 to join her husband. She had three young children under the age of ten. Yet the full concept didn’t connect with me until I saw a ship from that era and the unit size she and the children would have occupied. I was stunned at the deprivation and wished I could know more about her courage to immigrate. All I had of her were a few pictures.

Future. Write a letter to a grandchild or great grandchild, niece or nephew in the future. What do you want them to know about their family—what do you feel is so important that it must be remembered?

Action Steps:

1. Make a list of some key relatives in your past. Then choose two from different generations and write a letter to them.

2. Put it aside and then re-read the following day. Were you surprised at some of your questions? Did you think of some more?

3. Now write one to a future family member. Again leave overnight and revisit. And surprises?

Share: What has been a special story that has been passed along to you?




Thursday, May 10, 2018

Journal With Impact: Family Memories


Workshop: Six Conversations for Writing Creative Journals

“Memories, all those little experiences make up the fabric of our lives and on balance, I wouldn’t want to erase any of them, tempting though it may be.”
Ben Affleck

Journal Note
For a few minutes write down your feelings of highs and lows over your most recent holiday. Then go back through and put a circle around your blessings with family. Next put a box around any lows. Were the lows connected with personal issues, fatigue, time constraints, or family members?

Write down in the margin any follow-up contact promises you made to anyone. Next time you sit down with your calendar mark them on a to-do list.

Since my family is now grown, any time we can get together is pure joy for me, as well as extra exhaustion—not from any additional schedules but from visiting and trying to catch up. Often I can feel guilty or sad afterwards because we only have time for surface conversation, and it’s not always possible to get to heart matters—to connect and build the new stages of relationships as we all continue to mature into new seasons of life.

At the same time the interaction of having “all my peoples together,” as my young grandson has said since he turned two, is so enriching as I listen to my loved ones relating to each other and sharing their favorite childhood memories.

Taking time to remember all the little details helps us to see our heritage in a story framework rather than dates and facts. The memories become woven into meaning.


Action Steps: Learning To Remember

1. Make a list of what you do remember.

2. Make a list of what you don’t remember. For example, I have an almost photographic memory of my kitchen when I was five years old, but without any memory at all of any smells in it.

3. What is a memory in your life that you keep going back to? Look for one or two sharp details. Write it up as a mini-vignette either in prose or poetry or a letter.

Share: What particular detail stood out for you?


Read deep, marcy

 
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